- 专用英语翻译理论与实践
- 李鹏飞 朱琳编著
- 1235字
- 2023-07-14 18:43:22
1.5 翻译习作评改
[原文选段](摘自人事部翻译资格考试三级培训模拟题)
就业是民生之本,是人们赖以生存和发展的基本经济资源。在增加基本建设投资、积极扩大内需、保持国民经济快速发展的同时,中国政府通过产业政策的调整,重视发展具有比较优势和市场潜力的劳动密集型企业,积极发展多种所有制经济,鼓励灵活多样的就业形式,增加就业岗位,拓宽就业渠道。为解决农村劳动力的就业问题,中国政府积极调整农业和农村经济结构,鼓励发展效益农业和劳动密集型农业,积极引导农村富余劳动力的合理流动。
为提高劳动者的文化素质和职业技能,中国政府通过多种途径,努力发展各类教育事业,努力建立一个全方位、多层次的职业技术教育和培训体系。
[逐句分析]
[句1原文]就业是民生之本,是人们赖以生存和发展的基本经济资源。
[习译]Employment has a rival beating on the people's livelihood and is the basic economic resource for people to live and develop.
[析]“Employment has a rival beating on”有其道理。至于rival bearing,指的是“胜利之本”、“竞争之本”,用在这里有点不恰当,因为这里突出的是“饭碗”。resource for people to live and de-velop的搭配,语法没错,但用for subsistence and development就突出了谓语动词rely on的意思。此句也可翻译为:Job-opportunity involves people's livelihood and influences their basic economic revenue and daily survival and subsistence.
[句2原文]在增加基本建设投资、积极扩大内需、保持国民经济快速发展的同时,中国政府通过产业政策的调整,重视发展具有比较优势和市场潜力的劳动密集型企业,积极发展多种所有制经济,鼓励灵活多样的就业形式,增加就业岗位,拓宽就业渠道。
[习译]While increasing the basic construction investment,positively expanding domestic demand and keeping the fast development of national economy,the Chinese government,through the readjustment of in-dustrial policies(状语放在这里不合适),attaches great importance to labor-intensive industry which(定语从句这么放显得太沉重)has comparative advantages and market potential,develops various forms of ownership economy vigorously and encourages ffexible and multiform employment forms to increase employ-ment opportunities and open up new avenues of employment.
[改译]With the increase of capital construction investment and vigorous expansion of domestic demand so as to maintain the fast economic development,the government has been trying to push the development of labor-intensive enterprises with comparative advantages and market potential,through continuous regulation of its industrial policies.It also creates more employment opportunities and expands employment channels by stressfully developing the economy with diverse forms of ownership while encouraging variety of employment.
[析]这一句的处理方法应当与上一句相同。但习译没有拆句和断句,因而读起来就不太顺畅。
[句4原文]为提高劳动者的文化素质和职业技能,中国政府通过多种途径,努力发展各类教育事业,努力建立一个全方位、多层次的职业技术教育和培训体系。
[习译]For the purpose of improving(或用动词不定式)the cultural quality and vocational skills of labor workers,by various ways,the Chinese government has made every effort to develop all kinds of(不一定好)educational businesses and build a(冠词用错)all-dimensional and multi-level vocationally(muhi-level后面放副词不好)skilled education and training system.
[改译]In hoping to heighten the educational qualities and vocational skills of the labor force,the Chi-nese government has striven to broaden as many as possible educational and training forms via different chan-nels and establish an all-round,multi-level vocational and technical education and training system.
[析]翻译这一句,注意观察副词、形容词、名词及介词短语作多重修饰语的摆放顺序。
【评改意见】①应在长句处理上下功夫;②处理难点须兼顾语法和词汇表达两者的需要,尽量使译文活泼多样,将句子译得轻松愉快一点,让人爱读。
[参考译文]
Employment is(serves as)the basis of people's livelihood and the basic economic resource that people rely on for their subsistence and career development.However,for the time being(or:at present),China has to face(or:confront)a great employment pressure,due to(or:for)its huge population,abundant labor resources and economic restructuring(or:reconstructing).
To solve the problem involving(concerning)the employment of rural labor force,the Chinese govern-ment has been actively readjusting agricultural and rural economic structures,encouraging the development of profitable and labor-intensive farming system,and effectively guiding the rational flow of surplus rural la-borers.
In a word,to heighten the cultural-educational qualities and professional skills of the labor force,the Chinese government has been making endeavors to promote all forms of education through various channels and establish an all-round,multi-level vocational and technical education and training system.