第4章 通向成功的神秘之门

First Step to Success

Think back to a time in your life when you felt inspired and excited to make a significant change. Did you go for it or did your inner obstacles get in the way?

Your thoughts and beliefs are the foundation on which you build your success. You can't build a solid house on a foundation of clay and debris,and the same truth holds for your success.

If your thoughts and beliefs are shaky,these internal obstacles will hold you back unless you eliminate them.

Learning to handle obstacles is the best way to stand your ground and succeed while evasion only undermines your self-esteem.

Nature presents you with these challenges in order to learn to weather the storm and grow stronger.

To succeed in overcoming obstacles you need to have the guts not to quit,but to see things through,to have the strong faith to believe in yourself than in the obstacles and to have the willingness to do what it takes to turn the obstacles around.

This means you need to stand up to your obstacles and believe you can overcome them. When you attack your obstacles and do something about them,you will find that they are not as threatening as they appeared to be at first.

Decide that you will not give up and if something has to give,it will have to be the obstacles and not you.

Standing up to your obstacles imparts you with a sense of accomplishment and reinforces the sense of your inner power. By developing a habit of facing resistance,you instill into your psyche a strong message of endurance and success.This strengthens the faith and the belief in yourself,which helps remind you of the responsibility to yourself.

Sometimes you may have to resort to some other measures to overcome obstacles. If you can't get through the problem,try going around it,and if you can't go around it,try getting under it,and if you can't get under it,try going over it,and if you can't go over it,just dive straight into it.

In your path to a successful life,you are the only real obstacle.

走向成功的第一步

回想一下你生命中某个时刻得到灵感,兴奋地做出一个重大改变,你是会去努力争取,还是内心的障碍会阻止你的脚步呢?

你的思想和信仰是你成功的基础。你在泥土和残骸的地基上无法建造坚固的房子,对对你的成功也是基于同样的道理。

如果你的思想和信仰摇摆不定,如果你不清除内心的障碍,它们就会阻止你前进。

学会清理障碍是你站稳脚跟、获得成功的最佳途径,而逃避只会伤害你的自尊。

大自然将这些挑战呈现在你面前,是为了让你经受风吹雨打,更加茁壮成长。

要成功越过障碍,你需要有永不放弃的勇气,但也要看清事物,具有相信自己战胜那些障碍的坚强信念,还要有绕过那些障碍所采取的自愿行动。

这意味着你必须勇敢面对自己的障碍,相信自己能战胜它们。当你向自己的障碍发起进攻、采取行动时,就会发现它们并不像开始时的那样岌岌可危。

做出决定,永不放弃。如果有什么要让步的话,那一定会是障碍,而不是你。

勇敢面对自己的障碍,会使你有一种成就感,会使你内在的力量变得强大。培养直面阻力的习惯,你就会慢慢地给自己的心灵灌输一种忍耐与成功的坚强信念。这会增加你对自身的信仰与信心,有助于提醒你对自己的责任感。

要战胜这些障碍,有时你也许还要采取其他方法。如果你不能克服这个问题,就试着绕过去;如果你无法绕过去,那就试着控制它;如果无法控制它,那就试着越过去;如果无法越过去,那就直接冲向它。

在通向成功人生的道路上,你是唯一真正的障碍。

The Watchman of Your Mind

We must all have a watchman at the gate of our thoughts. The watchman at the gate is our subconsciousness.

We have the power to choose our thoughts.

For thousands of years,it seems almost impossible for us to control them. They rush through our minds like stampeding cattle or sheep.

But a single sheepdog can control the frightened sheep and guide them into the sheep pen.

I saw a picture in the newsreels of a shepherd dog. He had rounded up all but three.These three baaed and lifted their front hooves in protest,but the dog simply sat down in front and never took his eyes off them.He didn't bark or threaten.He just sat and looked at the three sheep with his determination.In a little while the sheep went into the pen.

We can learn to control our thoughts in the same way,by determination,not by force.

While our thoughts are on the rampage,we take an affirmation,keep repeating it and help us retrieve the inner quietude.

We cannot always control our thoughts,but we can control our words;repetition impresses the subconscious and we are master of the situation.

Your success and happiness in life depend upon the watchman at the gate of your thoughts. Sooner or later its function will show through your words and deeds.

You will form the habit of giving attention to every thought and word when you realize their importance.

Our subconsciousness is our watchman of our thoughts;it will,like a pair of scissors,cut out all the trivialities of our life so that we can go to success with our body and mind.

思想的守门人

我们的思想都必须有一个守门人,这个守门人就是我们的潜意识。

我们有权选择自己的思想。

几千年来,我们好像几乎不可能来控制它们,它们像受惊的牛羊一样闯过我们的思想。

但是,一只牧羊犬能把受惊的羊群赶回羊圈。

我看过一部有关牧羊犬的新闻影片。除了3只羊,牧羊犬把所有的羊都聚拢了起来。这3只羊咩咩叫着,抬起前蹄,以示反抗。牧羊犬没有叫,也没有威胁,只是卧在那里意志坚定地盯着3只羊。过了一小会儿,那些羊就进了羊圈。

我们同样可以学会这样来控制自己的思想,凭的是坚定的意志,而不是武力。

我们思想狂野时,要坚定意志,不断重复,帮助自己重新找回内心的平静。

尽管我们总是无法控制自己的思想,但我们可以控制自己的言语;不断向潜意识施加影响,我们就会控制局势。

你一生的成功和幸福取决于你思想的守门人,其作用迟早会通过你的言行表现出来。

当你认识到每个言行的重要性时,就会养成注意它们的习惯。

我们的潜意识就是我们思想的守门人,它会像一把剪刀,会剪掉我们生活中的所有琐事,以便我们能全心全意地走向成功。

My Definition of Success

Today I'm very glad to be here to share with you my ideas of success. What is success?It is what everyone is longing for.Sometimes success would be rather simple.Winning a game is success;getting a high grade in the exam is success;making a new friend is a success;even now I'm standing here giving my speech is also a success.

However,as a person's whole life is concerned,success becomes very complicated. Is fortune success?Is fame success?Is high social status success?No,I don't think so.I believe it is the realization of people's hopes and ideals.In the modern society there're many people who are regarded as the successful.And the most obvious characteristics of them are money,high position and luxurious life.So most people believe that is success and all that they do is for this purpose.But the problem is whether it is real success.We all know there are always more money,higher position and better condition in front of us.If we keep chasing them,where is the end?What will satisfy us at last?Therefore,we can see,to get the real success we need something inside,which is the realization of people's hopes and ideals.

Different people have different ideas about success because their hopes and ideas vary from one another. But I'm sure every success is dear to everybody because it is not easy to come by,because in the process of our striving for success we got both our body and soul tempted while we are enlightened by the most valuable qualities of human beings:love,patience,courage and sense of responsibility.These are the best treasures.So now I'm very proud that I have this opportunity to stand here speaking to all of you.It is my success because I rise up to challenge my hope.

What is success?Everyone has his own interpretation as I do. But I'm sure every success leads to a brighter future.So believe in our hopes;believe in ourselves.We,every one of us,can make a successful life!

成功的定义

今天,我很高兴在这里和你们一起分享我对成功的想法。成功是什么?每个人都渴望成功。有时成功会相当简单:赢得一场比赛是成功,考一次高分是成功,交一位新朋友是成功,甚至现在我站在这里演讲也是成功。

然而,就一个人的一生来说,成功变得非常复杂。财富是成功吗?名声是成功吗?出人头地是成功吗?不,我不这样认为。我认为成功是人们实现了自己的希望和理想。在现代社会中,很多人被认为是成功人士,他们最明显的特点就是有金钱、有地位,生活舒适。所以,大多数人认为这就是成功,他们所做的都是为了这个目的。但是,问题是这是否真的就是成功。我们都知道我们面前总会有更多的金钱、更高的地位和更好的条件。如果我们一味追求这些,哪里是尽头呢?什么会最终满足我们呢?所以,我们要明白,要想获得真正的成功,我们需要内在的一些东西,那就是实现人们的希望和理想。

不同的人对成功有不同的看法,因为他们的希望和想法彼此不同。但是,我相信每一次成功对每个人都非常珍贵,因为它来之不易,因为在争取成功的过程中我们的身心都受到过诱惑,同时我们也会受到人类最高贵的品质——爱、耐心、勇气和责任感的启迪。这些是最好的财富。所以,现在我很自豪有机会站在这里对大家演讲。这就是我的成功,因为我奋起挑战自己的希望。

成功是什么?每个人都和我一样有自己的解释。但是,我确信每次成功都会让我们走向更加光明的未来。所以,相信我们的希望,相信我们自己,我们每个人都能取得成功!

The Definite Goal

A father went to hunt for hares with his three sons to the grassland.

Upon arrival at the destination,all well prepared,before they took action,their father asked three sons a question,“What do you see?”

The eldest son replied,“I saw the shotguns in our hands,the hares running on the prairie and the endless stretch of grassland.”

His father shook his head and said,“You're wrong.”

The second son answered,“I saw our father,eldest brother,younger brother,shotguns,hares and the boundless grassland.”

The father again shook his head and said,“You're wrong.”The youngest only answered,“I can only see hares.”

Then their father said,“You're right.”

Only can a definite goal point out the right direction of action and less detour on the road to achieving the objective. In fact,the indiscriminate or excessive goals will impede our progress,so in order to achieve what we have in our mind,if unrealistic,we may ultimately accomplish nothing.

明确的目标

父亲带着3个儿子到草原上猎杀野兔。

在到达目的地、一切准备得当、开始行动之前,父亲向3个儿子提出了一个问题:“你们看到了什么?”

老大回答道:“我看到了我们手里的猎枪、在草原上奔跑的野兔,还有一望无际的草原。”

父亲摇摇头说:“不对。”

老二回答:“我看到了爸爸、大哥、弟弟、猎枪、野兔,还有茫茫无际的草原。”

父亲又摇摇头说:“不对。”

而老三的回答只有一句话:“我只看到了野兔。”

这时,父亲才说:“你答对了。”

只有明确的目标,才会为行动指出正确的方向,才会让我们在实现目标的道路上少走弯路。事实上,漫无目标或目标过多都会阻碍我们前进,要实现自己的心中所想,如果不切实际,那么最终可能会一事无成。

Ford’s Principle of Success

When he decided to produce his V-8 motor,Henry Ford chose to make an engine with the entire eight cylinders cast in one block. The engineers said that it was simply impossible to cast an eight-cylinder engine-block in one piece.

Ford said,“Produce it anyway.”

“But,”they replied,“it is impossible.”

“Go ahead,”Ford commanded,“and stay on the job until you succeed,no matter how much time is required.”

Six months passed and nothing happened. Another six months passed,and still nothing happened.The engineers tried every conceivable plan to carry out the orders,but the thing seemed out of the question.

At the end of the year the engineers again informed Ford they had found no way to carry out his orders.

“Go right ahead,”said Ford.“I want it,and I'll have it.”

They went ahead,and then,as if by a stroke of magic,the secret was discovered.

Ford's determination had won once more!

Henry Ford was successful because he understood and applied the principles of success. One of these is desire:knowing what one wants.If you can do this,you can equal his achievements in any calling for which you are suited.

福特成功的法则

亨利·福特决定生产V-8汽车时,想造一台8个汽缸合在一块的发动机。工程师们说要把8个汽缸全浇铸在一起根本不可能。

福特说:“无论如何要生产出来。”

“可是,”他们回答说,“那是不可能的。”

“只管做就是了,”福特命令道,“无论需要多少时间,直到做成为止。”

6个月过去了,没有做成。又过了6个月,还是没有做成。工程师们试过了每一种想得出来的计划去执行命令,但事情好像仍不可能。

一年后,工程师们再次告诉福特,他们找不到什么办法来执行他的命令。

“继续做,”福特说,“我要的东西,就一定会得到。”

他们继续努力,随后,像是得到魔力一般,终于发现了其中的奥秘。

福特的决心让他又一次取得了胜利!

亨利·福特之所以成功,是因为他了解并运用了这些成功法则。其中一个法则就是渴望:知道自己想要什么。如果你能做到这一点,就可以在适合自己的任何行业取得像他那样的成就。

Be Yourself

As a little boy,there was nothing I liked better than Sunday afternoons at my grandfather's farm in western Pennsylvania. Surrounded by miles of winding stonewalls,the house and barn provided endless hours of fun for a city kid like me.I was used to parlors neat as a pin that seemed to whisper,“Not to be touched!”

I can still remember one afternoon when I was eight years old. Since my first visit to the farm,I'd wanted more than anything to be allowed to climb the stonewalls surrounding the property.My parents would never approve.The walls were old;some stones were missing,others loose and crumbling.Still,my yearning to scramble across those walls grew so strong.One spring afternoon,I summoned all my courage and entered the living room,where the adults had gathered after dinner.

“I,uh,I want to climb the stonewalls,”I said hesitantly. Everyone looked up.“Can I climb the stonewalls?”Instantly a chorus went up from the women in the room.“Heavens,no!”they cried in dismay.“You'll hurt yourself!”I wasn't too disappointed;the response was just as I'd expected.But before I could leave the room,I was stopped by my grandfather's booming voice.“Hold on just a minute,”I heard him say,“Let the boy climb the stonewalls.He has to learn to do things for himself.”

“Scoot,”he said to me with a wink,“and come and see me when you get back.”For the next two and a half hours I climbed those old walls and had the time of my life. Later I met with my grandfather to tell him about my adventure.I'll never forget what he said.“Fred,”he said,grinning,“you made this day a special day just by being yourself.Always remember,there's only one person in this whole world like you,and I like you exactly as you are.”

Many years have passed since then,and today I host the television program Mister Rogers'Neighborhood,seen by millions of children throughout America. There have been changes over the years,but one thing remains the same:my message to children at the end of almost every visit,“There's only one person in this whole world like you,and people can like you exactly as you are.”

做你自己

我小时候最喜欢在爷爷的农场度过每个星期天的下午。爷爷的农场在宾州西部。农场四周都围上了绵延几英里的石墙。房子和谷仓给我这个城市男孩带来了无穷的快乐时光。我习惯了城里非常整洁的客厅似乎在低声说:“不要摸!”

我仍能记得我8岁那年的一天下午的情景。因为我第一次去农场,所以我很想爬上农场四周的那些石墙。父母绝不会同意。这些墙年深日久,有的石头不见了,有的石头松动倒塌。然而,我渴望爬这些墙的欲望非常强烈。一个春天的下午,我鼓足勇气,走进客厅。午饭后,大人们都聚在这里。

“我,呃,我想爬那些石墙。”我犹豫地说。大家都抬起头。“我能去爬那些石墙吗?”屋里的女人们马上齐声叫了起来:“天哪,不能!”她们惊慌地叫道,“你会伤着自己的!”我并没有太失望,我早就预料到会是这样的回答。但还没等我离开客厅,爷爷低沉的声音拦住了我。“等一会儿,”我听到他说,“让孩子爬那些石墙吧。他必须学会自己做事。”

“快走吧,”他对我眨眨眼说,“你回来后找我。”接下来的两个半小时,我爬起了这些古老的石墙,别提有多开心了。后来,我把自己的冒险经历告诉了爷爷。我永远也不会忘记他说过的话。“弗雷德,”他咧嘴笑道,“你做了一回自己,让这个日子不同凡响。永远记住,整个世界只有一个你,而且我喜欢真实的你。”

许多年过去了,现在我主持电视节目《罗杰斯先生的街坊四邻》,全美国几百万儿童收看。几年过后,节目已经发生了一些变化,但有一点没变,几乎每期节目后我都会传递给孩子们这样一个信息:“这个世界上只有一个你,人们都喜欢真实的你。”

The Millet of Life

When the two brothers were old enough to marry,their father was not gratified because their family wasn't so rich that the brothers were often in discord with each other for some small interests and he really didn't know how they would dispute when they broke up the family and lived apart.

One day,their father was sick,lying in bed and staring blankly,when the elder son came over to wish him good health. His father said,“Ask your brother to come here,and I have something to say.”

The younger brother arrived. Their father sat up and said,“I don't know how the disease hit.I'm feeling terribly unwell.”The brothers persuaded their father not to worry about it,but he shook his head,“In fact I don't worry about this disease because I can manage it;but if you are in discord with each other in future,it will be our family's'disease’and no one can cope with it.”The brothers felt ashamed.

The father got out of the bed,pointed to some chickens in the courtyard and said,“Look at them squatting there in peace with each other,isn't it good?”Then their father brought out a bowl of millet,went quietly behind the house and scattered most of them on the ground. Then he went back to the courtyard with only a few grains left and flung at the chickens.At the sight of the millet,the chickens jumped up,scrabbled for it,quacked and brandished their wings.The formerly tranquil world was filled with“smoke of gunpowder”for some grains of millet.

The brothers smiled and understood what their father was driving at.

Their father added,“Both of you saw more millet is behind the house……”

Virtually,aren't many troubles in life because God scattered some grains of millet before us?

人生的谷子

兄弟俩大了,到了结婚的年龄,他们的父亲并不感到欣慰,因为家庭不那么富裕,兄弟俩时常为一些小利不和,一旦到分家那天,还真不知道会发生怎样的争执。

有一天,父亲病了,躺在床上发呆。这时,老大过来问安。父亲说:“叫你弟弟来,我有话说。”

老二到了,父亲坐起身来,说:“我自己也不知道这病如何来的,难受得很。”兄弟俩劝父亲别担心,父亲摇摇头:“其实这病我也不担心,因为我自己能应付过去,但如果你们将来不和,那就是我们家庭的‘病’了,谁都难应付。”兄弟俩很惭愧。

父亲下床,指着院子里的几只鸡,说:“看看它们,蹲在那里相安无事,这不是很好吗?”然后,父亲到屋子里端出了一碗谷子,悄悄走到屋后,将大部分谷子撒在地上,仅留了几粒回到院子里,扔向那些鸡。那些鸡看见来了谷子,腾地跳起身,一起上前争夺,翅膀挥舞,嘎嘎乱叫,原本清静的世界,因为这几粒谷子而“硝烟弥漫”。

兄弟俩笑了,他们明白了父亲的意思。

父亲又说:“你们都看见了,更多的谷子在屋后……”

其实,人生中的许多麻烦,又何尝不是因为上帝在我们眼前撒了几粒谷子呢?

We Never Told Him He Couldn’t Do It

My son Joey was born with club feet. The doctors assured us that with treatment he would be able to walk normally—but would never run very well.The first three years of his life were spent in surgery,casts and braces.By the time he was eight,you wouldn't know he had a problem when you saw him walk.The children in our neighborhood ran around as most children do during play,and Joey would jump right in and run and play,too.We never told him that he probably wouldn't be able to run as well as the other children.So he didn't know.In seventh grade he decided to go out for the cross-country team.Every day he trained with the team.He worked harder and ran more than any of the others—perhaps he sensed that the abilities that seemed to come naturally to so many others did not come naturally to him.Although the entire team runs,only the top seven runners have the potential to score points for the school.

He continued to run four to five miles a day,every day—even the day he had a 103-degree fever. I was worried,so I went to look for him after school.I found him running all alone.I asked him how he felt.“Okay,”he said.He had two more miles to go.The sweat ran down his face and his eyes were glassy from his fever.Yet he looked straight ahead and kept running.We never told him he couldn't run four miles with a 103-degree fever.So he didn't know.Two weeks later,the names of the team runners were called.Joey was number six on the list.Joey had made the team.He was in seventh grade—the other six members were all eighth-graders.We never told him he shouldn't expect to make the team.We never told him he couldn't do it.We never told him he couldn't do it……so he didn’t know.He just did it.

无知者无畏

儿子乔伊出生时双脚畸形。医生向我们保证,经过治疗,他能像常人一样走路,但绝不会跑得很好。他人生的前3年是在手术、石膏和吊带中度过的。到他8岁时,你看他走路不会知道他的脚曾有过毛病。我们附近的小孩子们做游戏时总是跑来跑去。乔伊也会马上加入跑和玩。我们从不说他不可能像别的孩子那样跑。所以,他不知道。七年级时,乔伊决定参加越野队。每天他和大家一起训练,他训练得比任何人都更努力、跑得更多,也许是他意识到自己先天条件好像不如其他许多人吧。虽然是全队参加,但只有前7名有可能为学校得分。

他继续每天跑四五英里,甚至在烧到了40℃那天,仍坚持跑步。我为他担心,于是他放学后我去学校看他。我发现他正一个人在跑步。我问他感觉怎么样。“还好。”他说。他还要跑两英里。他满脸是汗,眼睛因发烧而呆滞。然而,他直视前方,继续跑着。我们从来没有告诉他高烧40℃不能跑4英里,所以他不知道。两周后,学校公布了赛跑队员的名字,乔伊名列第6,入选赛跑队。他才上七年级,其余6人都是八年级学生。我们从来没有告诉他不会有希望入选赛跑队,我们从来没说过他不行。我们从来没有说他不行……所以他不知道。他就这样做到了。

Think with the Few and Speak with the Many

Swimming against the stream makes it impossible to remove error and easy to fall into danger—only a Socrates can undertake it. To dissent from others'views is regarded as an insult,because it is a condemnation of their judgment.The offense is doubled on account of the judgment condemned and of the person who championed it.Truth is for the few,error is both common and vulgar.The wise person is not known by what he says on the public square,for there he speaks not with his own voice but with that of common folly,however much his inmost thoughts may deny it.The prudent person avoids being contradicted as much as he avoids contradicting others—though they have their judgment ready they are not ready to publish it.Thought is free,force cannot and should not be used on it.The wise person therefore retires into silence and if he allows himself to come out of it,he does so in the shade and before few and fit persons.

与少数人一起思考,与多数人一起交谈

逆流而上,不可能不犯错误,会很容易让人落入险境——只有苏格拉底才能挑战这种危险。不赞同别人的观点被看成一种侮辱,因为这是对他们判断的一种谴责。这种冒犯具有双重性,因为既冒犯了受到谴责的判断,又冒犯了主张这种判断的人。真理属于少数人,谬误属于平民百姓。智者不是凭他在大庭广众之下说的话被认出来的,因为他不是用自己的声音说话,而是用普通百姓的声音说话,无论他内心是多么不愿接受。谨慎者避免被人反驳,也避免反驳他人——尽管他们早有看法,但不准备公之于众。思想是自由的,我们不能也不该对它使用武力。因此,智者陷入沉默,即使允许自己走出沉默,他也只会在暗处、在少数合适的人面前那样做。

Avoid Outshining Your Superiors

All victories breed hate,and that over your superior is foolish or fatal. Preeminence is always detested,especially over those who are in high positions.Caution can gloss over common advantages.For example,good looks may be cloaked by careless attire.There are some that will grant you superiority in good luck or in good temper,but none in good sense,least of all a prince—for good sense is a royal prerogative and any claim of superiority in that is a crime against majesty.They are princes,and wish to be so in that most princely of qualities.They will allow someone to help them but not to surpass them.So make any advice given to them appear like a recollection of something they have only forgotten rather than as a guide to something they cannot find.The stars teach us this finesse with happy tact:though they are his children and brilliant like him,they never rival the brilliance of the sun.

不要让你的上司相形见绌

所有胜利都会引起仇恨,所以胜过上司,要么愚蠢,要么致命。出类拔萃总是遭人憎恨,尤其是超越那些身居高位的人。小心谨慎能够掩饰常见的优点。比如,美貌可以通过不修边幅加以掩盖。有的人愿意承认你在好运气或好脾气上的优势,但没有人愿意承认你机智,君王尤其不愿承认,因为机智是君王的特权,任何声称自己机智超人都是对王权的犯罪。他们是君王,希望自己具有这种最高贵的品质。他们允许有人辅佐自己,但不愿有人超过自己。所以,对他们提出任何忠告,都要像是在提醒他只是忘了某件事,而不是为他求之不得的事情指点迷津。那些星星巧妙机智地教给了我们这个策略:尽管它们是太阳的孩子,并像它一样闪耀,但从来不和它一争高低。

Know How to Withdraw

If it is a great lesson in life to know how to deny,it is still greater to know how to deny oneself as regards both affairs and persons. There are extraneous occupations that eat away precious time.To be occupied in what does not concern you is worse than doing nothing.It is not enough for a careful person not to interfere with others,he must see that they do not interfere with him.One is not obliged to belong so much to others as not to belong at all to oneself.So with friends,their help should not be abused or more demanded from them than they themselves will grant.All excess is a failing,but above all in personal relationships.A wise moderation in this best preserves the goodwill and esteem for all,for by this means that precious boon of courtesy is not gradually worn away.Thus you preserve your genius and freedom to select the best and never sin against the unwritten laws of good taste.

知道如何退出

如果人生中懂得如何拒绝是一大功课的话,那么无论人还是事,更重要的是懂得如何舍弃。有些无关的职业常常侵蚀宝贵的时间。从事与自己无关之事比无所事事还要糟糕。对谨慎者来说,他不干涉别人还不够,他必须明白,也不要让他们来干涉他。一个人不必过分归属别人,以免自己不属于自己。所以,不应该滥用朋友的帮助,也不应该向朋友要求他们不同意给的东西。过犹不及是一种过失,尤其在个人关系上更是这样。对所有人来说,在这方面适可而止,可以最好地保持善意与尊重,因为用这种方法,那种善意的宝贵恩惠才不会逐渐消退。因此,你要保护好自己的天赋和自由,做出最佳选择,绝不要违反优雅品位的不成文法。

Know How to Show Your Strength

Even hares can pull the mane of a dead lion. Courage is no joking matter.Give way to the first and you must yield to the second,and so on till the last,and to gain your point in the end costs as much trouble as it would have a first.Moral courage exceeds physical courage;it should be like a sword kept ready for use in the scabbard of caution.It is your shield.Moral cowardice degrades one more than physical weakness.Many have had eminent qualities yet,for want of a stout heart,they passed inanimate lives and found a tomb in their own sloth.Wise nature has thoughtfully combined in the bee the sweetness of its honey with the sharpness of its sting.

懂得如何显示自己的力量

即使是兔子,也能拔死狮的鬃毛。勇气绝不是开玩笑。第一次让步,第二次你肯定也会屈服,如此这般,到最后,要想最终胜人一筹,付出的艰辛会和当初一样多。道德上的勇气常常超过身体上的勇气,它应该像时刻准备出鞘的剑一样,这也是你的盾。道德上的怯懦会比身体上的虚弱更降低一个人的品格。许多人虽然声名显赫,但因为缺乏一颗勇敢的心,所以他们过着死气沉沉的生活,在懒惰中找到了自己的归宿。英明的大自然富有创见地将蜜的甜美和刺的锋利结合在了蜜蜂身上。

Make Use of Your Friends

This requires all the art of discretion. Some are good far off,some when near.Many are no good at conversation but excellent as correspondents,for distance removes some failings which are unbearable in close proximity to them.Friends are for use even more than for pleasure,for they have the three qualities of the good,or,as some say,of being in general:unity,goodness,and truth.For a friend is all in all.Few are worthy to be good friends,and even these become fewer because people do not know how to pick them out.Keeping friends is more important than making them.Select those that will wear well—if they are new at first it is some consolation that they will become old.Absolutely the best are those well salted,though they may require soaking in the testing.There is no desert like leaving without friends.Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil.It is the sole remedy against misfortune,like fresh air to the soul.

善用你的朋友

这需要所有的判断技巧。有些朋友宜远交,有些朋友须近交。许多朋友不善交谈而善通信,因为距离会消除亲近时无法忍受的一些缺点。朋友是为了应用,而不是为了快乐,因为他们具有三种美好品质,这就像一些人所说的具有普遍存在的品质:团结、善良和真诚。因此,一个朋友就是所有的一切。配得上做好友者寥寥无几,这些人之所以会变得越来越少,是因为人们不懂得如何选择朋友。保住朋友比结交朋友更重要。选择那些久经考验的人做朋友——即使他们起初是新朋友,他们也会成为老朋友,这多少让人感到安慰。尽管最好的朋友也许需要在考验中浸泡,但绝对是那些饱经风霜的朋友。再没有像离去时没有朋友那样的沙漠了。友谊增加生活的美好,分担生活的不幸,它是治疗不幸的唯一妙方,就像新鲜空气对灵魂一样。

Never Share the Secrets of Your Superiors

You may think you will share pears,but you will only share parings. Many have been ruined by being confidants:they are like sops of bread used like spoons,they run the same risk of being eaten up afterwards.It is no favor to a prince to share a secret—it is only a relief.Many break the mirror that reminds them of their ugliness.We do not like seeing those who have seen us as we are,nor is he seen in a favorable light who has seen us in an unfavorable one.No one ought to be too much beholden to us,least of all one of the great,unless it is for favors done for him rather than for favors received.Especially dangerous are secrets entrusted to friends.When you communicate a secret to someone you make yourself his slave.With a prince this is an intolerable position that cannot last;he will desire to recover his lost liberty,and to gain he will overturn everything,including right and reason.Accordingly,neither tell secrets nor listen to them.

绝不要和你的上司分享秘密

你也许认为自己会分到梨,但你只能分到削掉的皮。许多人因为成了他人的心腹而毁了自己:他们就像面包片做的匙子,同样冒着随后被吞吃的危险。分享一位君王的秘密绝不是恩宠——只是一种消遣。许多人打碎镜子,是因为镜子让他们想起了自己的丑陋。我们不喜欢看到那些曾经看到过我们本来面貌的人;如果他曾经看到过我们不利的一面,他就不会以赞许的眼光看我们。谁也不应该对我们过分感谢,尤其是伟人更不应该,除非你曾经给过他帮助,而不是接受他的帮助。尤其危险的是,把秘密托付给朋友们。你把秘密传给某个人,就会使自己成为他的奴隶。对君王来说,这是一个无法忍受、难以长久的位置,他一定会期望恢复失去的自由;为了获得自由,他一定会颠覆一切,包括正义和理性。因此,既不要泄露秘密,也不要去听秘密。

Two Ways of Telling a Story

In one of the most populous cities of New England,a few years ago,a party of lads,all members of the same school,got up a grand sleigh ride. The sleigh was a very large one,drawn by six gray horses.

On the following day,as the teacher entered the schoolroom,he found his pupils in high glee,as they chattered about the fun and frolic of their excursion. In answer to some inquiries,one of the lads gave him an account of their trip and its various incidents.

As he drew near the end of his story,he exclaimed:”Oh,sir!there was one thing I had almost forgotten. As we were coming home,we saw ahead of us a queer looking affair in the road.It proved to be a rusty old sleigh,fastened behind a covered wagon,proceeding at a very slow rate,and taking up the whole road.

“Finding that the owner was not disposed to turn out,we determined upon a volley of snowballs and a good hurrah. They produced the right effect,for the crazy machine turned out into the deep snow,and the skinny old pony started on a full trot.

“As we passed,some one gave the horse a good crack,which made him run faster than he ever did before,I'll warrant.

“With that,an old fellow in the wagon,who was buried up under an old hat,bawled out,‘Why do you frighten my horse?'‘Why don't you turn out,then?'says the driver. So we gave him three rousing cheers more.His horse was frightened again,and ran up against a loaded wagon,and,I believe,almost capsized the old creature—and so we left him.”

“Well,boys,”replied the teacher,“take your seat,and I will tell you a story,and all about a sleigh ride,too. Yesterday afternoon a very venerable old clergyman was on his way from Boston to Salem,to pass the rest of the winter at the house of his son.That he might be prepared for journeying in the following spring he took with him his wagon,and for the winter his sleigh,which he fastened behind the wagon.

“His sight and hearing were somewhat blunted by age,and he was proceeding very slowly;for his horse was old and feeble,like his owner. He was suddenly disturbed by loud hurrahs from behind,and by a furious pelting of balls of snow and ice upon the top of his wagon.

“In his alarm he dropped his reins,and his horse began to run away. In the midst of the old man's trouble,there rushed by him,with loud shouts,a large party of boys,in a sleigh drawn by six horses.‘Turn out!turn out,old fellow!'‘Give us the road!'‘What will you take for your pony?'‘What's the price of oats,old man?’were the various cries that met his cars.

“‘Pray,do not frighten my horse!'exclaimed the infirm driver.‘turn out,then!turn out!'was the answer,which was followed by repeated cracks and blows from the long whip of the‘grand sleigh,'with showers of snowballs,and three tremendous hurrahs from the boys.

“The terror of the old man and his horse was increased,and the latter ran away with him,to the great danger of his life. He contrived,however,to stop his horse just in season to prevent his being dashed against a loaded wagon.A short distance brought him to the house of his son.That son,boys,is your instructor,and that‘old fellow,'was your teacher's father!”

When the boys perceived how rude and unkind their conduct appeared from another point of view,they were very much ashamed of their thoughtlessness,and most of them had the manliness to apologize to their teacher for what they had done.

By HENRY K. OLIVER.

讲故事的两种方法

很多年前,在新英格兰人口最多的城市里,年轻小伙以及同一学校的所有学生都拥有高贵、华丽的雪橇,这种雪橇非常大,需要6匹马才能拉动。

在这之后的一天,当老师走进教室的时候,他发现学生们的情绪都很高涨,他们之间相互分享雪橇探险中碰到的趣闻。他们中的一个学生开始详细叙述他们的旅行和旅行中层出不穷的滑稽事。

就在他快要说完的时候,他大叫道:“噢,先生!有一件事我差点忘了,当我们快要到家的时候,我们发现在路的前方有什么奇怪的东西,走近看才知道是一个生了锈的旧雪橇,被绑在马车后面,并以非常慢的速度前进,把整条大路都占了。

“我们发现这辆马车的车主并不打算现身,于是我们把许多雪球扔到他的马车上,并且欢呼起来。这样做有了效果,因为那辆马车被陷在雪里,而那匹枯瘦如柴的小马则全速奔跑起来。

“当我们从马车身边经过的时候,我们中有些人抽鞭子去吓唬那匹马。我敢保证,那匹马跑得比之前还要快。

“就在这时,马车里那个戴着一顶帽子的老家伙大叫起来:‘你们为什么要吓唬我的马?你们管什么闲事!’我们开始起哄,他的马再一次受到惊吓,撞上了一辆满载货物的马车,我相信,那一下撞击几乎把那破车弄翻了。然后,我们就离开了。”

“好吧,孩子们,”老师回答,“都坐下吧。我给你们讲个故事,也是一个关于雪橇的故事。昨天下午,一位德高望重的老牧师走在从波士顿到塞勒姆的路上,他要在儿子家度过整个冬天;然后到第二年春天,他会乘马车去旅行,而在冬天,他会把雪橇绑在他的马车后面。

“随着年龄的增长,他的视力和听力都有所下降,他之所以走得这么慢,是因为他的马也老了、虚弱了,就像它的主人一样。他突然被从后面传来的欢呼声所惊扰,并且许多掉落的雪球和冰块砸中车顶。

“由于惊慌,他弄掉了缰绳,他的马也开始失控。就在老人麻烦不断时,一群大嚷大叫的孩子驾驶着由6匹马拉的雪橇,大声嚷嚷道:‘闪开,闪开,老家伙!快把路给我们让开!你带你的小马要去哪里?知道惹我们是什么下场吗?老家伙!’

“‘求求你们,不要吓坏我的马!’那个虚弱的老人高喊,然而他得到的回答却是‘闪开,闪开!’然后从大雪橇上传来鞭打声和口哨声,雪球不停地砸过来,男孩们还不停地起哄。

“老人和他的马更害怕了,那匹马带着老人猛跑起来,这对老人非常危险。然而,老人想尽一切办法让马停了下来,这样才没有撞上那辆满载货物的马车。还有那么一小段路就到他的儿子家了。孩子们,他的儿子就是你们的老师,而那个你们口中的‘老家伙’,就是你们老师的父亲!”

当学生们从不同的角度去看他们的做法,他们才意识到自己的所作所为是多么粗鲁和恶劣,他们为自己的轻率感到羞耻,他们中大多数都勇敢地向他们的老师道了歉。

亨利·K.奥利弗

The Best Capital

One would have said that modest John Brooke,in his busy,quiet,humble life,had had little time to make friends;but now they seemed to start up everywhere,—old and young,rich and poor,high and low;for all unconsciously his influence had made itself widely felt,his virtues were remembered,and his hidden charities rose up to bless him.

The group about his coffin was a far more eloquent eulogy than any that man could utter. There were the rich men whom he had served faithfully for years;the poor old women whom he cherished with his little store,in memory of his mother;the wife to whom he had given such happiness that death could not mar it utterly;the brothers and sisters in whose hearts he had made a place forever;the little son and daughter who already felt the loss of his strong arm and tender voice;the young children,sobbing for their kindest playmate,and the tall lads,watching with softened faces a scene which they never could forget.

That evening,as the Plumfield boys sat on the steps,as usual,in the mild September moonlight,they naturally fell to talking of the event of the day.

Emil began by breaking out in his impetuous way,“Uncle Fritz is the wisest,and Uncle Laurie the jolliest,but Uncle John was the best;and I'd rather be like him than any man I ever saw.”

“So would I. Did you hear what those gentlemen said to Grandpa to-day?I would like to have that said of me when I was dead;”and Franz felt with regret that he had not appreciated Uncle John enough.

“What did they say?”asked Jack,who had been much impressed by the scenes of the day.

“Why,one of the partners of Mr. Laurence,where Uncle John has been ever so long,was saying that he was conscientious almost to a fault as a business man,and above reproach in all things.Another gentleman said no money could repay the fidelity and honesty with which Uncle John had served him,and then Grandpa told them the best of all.

“Uncle John once had a place in the office of a man who cheated,and when this man wanted uncle to help him do it,uncle wouldn't,though he was offered a big salary. The man was angry,and said,‘You will never get on in business with such strict principles;'and uncle answered back,‘I never will try to get on without them,'and left the place for a much harder and poorer one.”

“Good!”cried several of the boys warmly,for they were in the mood to understand and value the little story as never before.

“He wasn't rich,was he?”asked Jack.

“No.”

“He never did anything to make a stir in the world,did he?”

“No.”

“He was only good?”

“That's all;”and Franz found himself wishing that Uncle John had done something to boast of,for it was evident that Jack was disappointed by his replies.

“Only good. That is all and everything,”said Uncle Fritz,who had overheard the last few words,and guessed what was going on in the minds of the lads.

“Let me tell you a little about John Brooke,and you will see why men honor him,and why he was satisfied to be good rather than rich or famous. He simply did his duty in all things,and did it so cheerfully,so faithfully,that it kept him patient,brave,and happy,through poverty and loneliness and years of hard work.

“He was a good son,and gave up his own plans to stay and live with his mother while she needed him. He was a good friend,and taught your Uncle Laurie much beside his Greek and Latin,did it unconsciously,perhaps,by showing him an example of an upright man.

“He was a faithful servant,and made himself so valuable to those who employed him that they will find it hard to fill his place. He was a good husband and father,so tender,wise,and thoughtful,that Laurie and I learned much of him,and only knew how well he loved his family when we discovered all he had done for them,unsuspected and unassisted.”

Uncle Fritz stopped a minute,and the boys sat like statues in the moonlight until he went on again,in a subdued and earnest voice:“As he lay dying,I said to him,‘Have no care for your wife and the little ones;I will see that they never want.'then he smiled and pressed my hand,and answered,in his cheerful way,'no need of that;I have cared for them.'

“And so he had,for when we looked among his papers,all was in order,—not a debt remained;and safely put away was enough to keep his wife comfortable and independent. Then we knew why he had lived so plainly,denied himself so many pleasures,except that of charity,and worked so hard that I fear he shortened his good life.

“He never asked help for himself,though often for others,but bore his own burden and worked out his own task bravely and quietly. No one can say a word of complaint against him,so just and generous and kind was he;and now,when he is gone,all find so much to love and praise and honor,that I am proud to have been his friend,and would rather leave my children the legacy he leaves his than the largest fortune ever made.

“Yes!simple,genuine goodness is the best capital to found the business of this life upon. It lasts when fame and money fail,and is the only riches we can take out of this world with us.Remember that,my boys;and,if you want to earn respect and confidence and love,follow in the footsteps of John Brooke.”

最好的资本

人们可能会说,诚挚的约翰·布鲁克,在忙忙碌碌、卑微且平庸的一生中,几乎没有时间交朋友,但是,现在他的朋友从各地涌现了出来——老人、年轻人、富人、穷人、高个子和矮个子——因为人们受到了他的潜移默化的影响,他的道德观念被人们铭记,而且他默默的善举也给自己带来了祝福。

围在他棺材周围的人流比任何人朗诵的颂词都更顺畅。有他忠诚服务了数年的有钱人;有他用自己的店铺照顾的可怜的老妇人,以此纪念自己的母亲;有他的妻子,他给她带来的快乐就算是死亡也无法损毁;有他的兄弟姐妹,他们把他永久地留在了自己心中;有他的儿女,他们已然失去了爸爸宽厚的臂膀和慈爱的声音;有小孩子们,他们为仁慈友善的玩伴而啜泣,年龄稍长的孩子们则用柔和的目光注视着这永远无法忘怀的场景。

那天傍晚,在9月明亮的月光下,梅园的孩子们像往常一样走上台阶,讲述这一整天所发生的事情。

埃米尔开始用他那鲁莽的腔调第一个发言:“弗里兹叔叔最聪明,劳里叔叔最快乐,但是约翰叔叔是最棒的,在我见过的所有人里面,我最愿意成为约翰叔叔那样的人。”

“我也是。你们知道今天那些绅士们都是怎么跟祖父说话的吗?如果我死了,我也希望别人能够那样说我。”弗朗兹觉得有些后悔,因为他以前对约翰叔叔崇敬得还不够。

“他们都是怎么说约翰叔叔的?”杰克问道,今天的场景深深地触动了他。

“劳伦斯先生的合伙人之一跟约翰叔叔共事过很久,他说,约翰叔叔作为一个生意人,做事认真负责,任何人都无法挑出责备他的理由。另一位绅士说,多少金钱也无法买来约翰叔叔的忠诚和诚信,然后爷爷讲了约翰叔叔的一件最牛气的事。

“有一次,约翰叔叔在某个人的公司工作,那个人曾经说过谎话,然后那个人想要约翰叔叔帮他骗人,尽管那人答应付给约翰叔叔一大笔钱,约翰叔叔还是没有答应。结果那个人很生气,说道:‘你的态度要是这么强硬的话,就永远也别想在生意上有什么进展。’然后约翰叔叔答道:‘我不会为了成功而抛弃原则。’于是约翰叔叔辞掉了工作,找了一份更困难、收入更低的工作。”

“太牛了!”几个小男孩喊道,因为他们从这个故事中受到了启迪。

“他一点也不富有,不是吗?”杰克问道。

“是的,一点都不富有。”

“他也没做过什么轰轰烈烈的大事,不是吗?”

“是的。”

“但他是个好人。”

“这就足够了。”弗朗兹希望自己能够找到一些约翰叔叔做过的可以炫耀的事迹,因为,很明显杰克对他的答复很失望。

“他只是个好人,这是他做的所有的事。”弗里兹叔叔说道,他听到了孩子们说的话,能猜出来那些孩子到底在想什么。

“让我给你们讲讲约翰·布鲁克的故事吧,你们会发现为什么人们会尊敬他,为什么他宁愿选择当好人,而不是富人或者有名气的人。他做任何事都会负起责任来,在他多年的贫穷和寂寞中,他依旧能够保持耐心、勇敢和快乐的心境。

“他是个好人,他为了留下来照顾自己的母亲而放弃了自己的事业。他是个好伙伴,不仅教劳里叔叔希腊语和拉丁语,而且不知不觉间教了劳里叔叔不少东西,还以自身为榜样,教会劳里叔叔如何做一个正直的人。

“他还是个忠诚的仆人,那些雇用他的人都认为他非常有价值,几乎无人能及。他也是个好丈夫、好父亲,他温柔、智慧、考虑周全,我和劳里从他身上学到了许多东西,当我们发现他为家人所做的一切之后,我们才发现他多么爱自己的家人。”

弗里兹叔叔停顿了一下,在月光的照射下,孩子们像雕像一样坐在月光下,直到他继续用低沉的声音说:“就在他快死的时候,我对他说:‘不要担心你的妻子和你的孩子们,我会照顾好他们,让他们什么都不缺。’他微笑着握住我的手,用惯用的热情的口吻答道:‘不用了,我已经照顾好他们了。’

“他确实已经照顾好了,因为看到他的遗嘱时,我们发现一切都安排得井井有条,没有留下任何负债,而且他的积蓄足够让他的妻子过上舒服、自在的生活。我们这才知道,为什么他活得这么节俭,除了慈善,他拒绝了很多的娱乐活动,我担心正是他那么拼命地工作,才缩短了他的寿命!

“他从来没有求过别人,而且还常常替他人着想,他总是把重担扛在自己肩上,勇敢、默默地做完自己的工作。没有人会抱怨他,现在他去世了,人们都发现他是如此值得爱戴、赞美和尊敬。作为他的朋友,我感到很荣幸,我希望留给自己孩子的,跟他留给自己孩子的一样多,而不是大量的金钱。

“没错!简单、真诚、善意是人生中最好的资本。它不会随着名望和金钱的失去而消失,它是我们在这个世界上唯一可以带走的财富。记住,孩子们,如果你们想要赢得别人的尊重、信任和爱,就遵循约翰·布鲁克的脚步吧!”