What is he worried about?

Believe it or not, your boss is worried—about something. He wouldn’t be human if he weren’t experiencing some stress at work. Do you know what it is? Is it a late deliverable? Is it a peer relationship? Is it a budget issue? Is he getting pressure from his boss? I guarantee something is at the top of his priority list, and you’d better know what it is, because that’s what he’s focused on right now.

Your boss’s priorities are the most transparent signal you’ll get about what he wants from you. Most bosses are pretty clear about their top priorities, and if they’re not, all you have to do is notice how they spend their time. If you can’t even get ten minutes with him, he’s probably focused on something important. If you’re not involved with this priority, what he wants from you is to leave him alone. Pestering him to look at your presentation, or bugging him to get on his calendar is only going to annoy him. To get a handle on what he’s concerned about, study his deliverables. Focus on his objectives, what he’s promised the organization, his deadlines, etc. The more you know about his commitments, the better. Again, if you need clarification, ask him directly.

Next, figure out what’s at the top of his immediate todo list. What is he most focused on this week? When is it due? Anticipate what (if anything) he might need from you to meet his commitments. I can remember several of my bosses retreating into their bunker to meet a tight deadline or putting in long hours with teams of people; sometimes I was part of that and sometimes I wasn’t. During those events, what my boss wanted from me was either total commitment or complete independence. If I wasn’t part of what he was focused on in that moment, mybest strategy was to stay off his radar screen. Be sensitive to what he’s currently involved in, and if it’s not something in your area, give him lots of space. Of course if you are involved, he wants you “all in” until the project is finished—what he wants from you right now is total dedication and commitment.

That’s good advice for deliverables and work priorities, but what if he’s worried about something else? Maybe he’s in a sticky situation with a peer, or maybe he’s done something to upset his manager (hey, bosses make mistakes, too). Maybe he’s getting ready to fire someone and is upset about the circumstances. Maybe he just lost a big battle on the senior team and is worried about losing power, or perhaps it’s a personal issue completely unrelated to work.

The fact is your boss experiences all kinds of stress. That’s why you need to be aware of his demeanor at all times. If he’s normally approachable, and suddenly becomes quiet and unavailable, there’s a good chance something is wrong. Pay attention to his moods and body language. Read the behavior change: Is it a work-related issue or is it personal? Is it something serious, or have you seen him pass through this stage quickly in the past? Is it something you can help with, or is it best not to approach him about it?

Scott is experiencing this right now. His boss has gone into a shell and no one can figure out why. He’s normally very engaged with his staff, but lately he spends a lot of time behind closed doors. Usually, he’s the last one to leave, but recently he’s been leaving at 5:00 p.m. Scott has asked if he can help, but the boss has not confided in him. His behavior is impacting the entire department, but at this point, all Scott can do is continue to offer support. I advised Scott to look for things to take off his boss’s plate, identifying and completing tasks the boss wouldhave performed normally. Even though he’s probably not aware of it, what the boss wants from Scott right now is for him to step up and do more while he’s working through his issues.

Here’s what I want you to take away from this question: Bosses are human, too. Your boss’s motives may involve things you never thought of, like tension or anxiety. A lot of bosses do crazy things when they’re under stress, so pay attention to the external forces that may be causing your boss’s behavior to shift. What he’s worried about (and how he’s reacting to it) may be the insight you need to adjust your approach or lend a helping hand.