INTRODUCTION
Burning the Grass

Way back when, in the late summers or early falls, my grandfather would set his lawn on fire. We called it burning the grass, and he believed it fertilized the soil and made the lawn come back greener. The neighbors called it crazy and eventually the fire department put a stop to it. As a child of seven or eight, I was curious and sometimes confused. I wasn’t sure whether to believe my grandfather or the neighbors. As the years passed I began to accept my grandfather’s ritual as a means of producing something better. Even though others saw it as chaos, I learned that my grandfather knew what he was doing. The grass always felt thicker, a better surface for play!

What looks like chaos can actually be, and is often, a vital part of change and growth: learning a new profession, taking a new job, or starting a new company. The process requires moving through the chaos and darkness—the anxiety, confusion, resistance, and solitude––to eventually assemble the many disjointed, misunderstood, and often unrecognizable pieces. It is a time of reaching inward and learning about yourself. It is a time of reflection, faith, observation, idea generation, resolve, and reform. It is a time central to all those who examine their “employed” attitude and choose to learn or deepen their “self-employed” attitude.

As my grandfather burned the grass I learned not to judge what I saw even if others did. I stood back, watched, and appreciated that something was going on even though I didn’t understand what. I knew that with patience and perspective I would notice something valuable. Now I look back at burning the grass as a metaphor for his life and possibly many of ours. My grandfather’s message to me was this: Look back through the years; you can learn from them. You don’t have to repeat them, but you can borrow from them. Pause, reflect, and understand what you want. Appreciate the process, then respect your wisdom––do what you think is right. You can make a difference.

If we are open to history, learning, and our own wisdom can be great teachers. Many of our forebears––farmers, poets and writers, and sales people––were “self-employed.” They burned the grass: raising crops to feed a growing nation, writing prose to record our history, composing poetry to inspire innovation, and selling new products and services to shape our lifestyles. Workers eventually came to believe that those who owned their own companies were self-employed and those who worked for organizations were entitled to their job, benefits, and perks. They were not, however, self-employed. The urgent message of We Are All Self-Employed remains, and particularly of this second edition, is that the “employed” attitude no longer exists. A “self-employed” attitude has emerged as the central belief for fueling your worklife. Will you burn the grass, fight for and follow your path? Will you respect the organic nature of being and contributing yourself? Or, will you settle for Astro Turf? You’re the boss.

Who’s the Boss?

Over the past dozen years I have set myself free. I have recreated myself from executive search consultant to author, speaker, and career and executive counselor. During the 10 years I spent in executive search, I worked diligently carving out an organizational niche, developing a steady client base, and earning amply. But, I didn’t like who I was becoming in this role and what I was doing on a daily basis. My spirit was too tightly packaged up––ossifying, locked into a stultifying routine. Although “search” was a means to learn about the business world, build relationships, and make money—all of which I am grateful—my heart was under-nourished and my hands were underutilized. I longed to express my own beliefs and personality. I missed stretching and asserting my imagination, being unbound from decaying personal beliefs and constricting organizational rules. I missed putting my creativity to work for others.

Fortunately, I listened carefully. I heard the ping: a personal calling to self-leadership. Have you heard the ping? Ping…I think I’m dissatisfied, but I’m not sure. Ping…Work is okay, but maybe that’s not good enough. Ping…People say the company won’t look after my career, but I doubt that will happen here. Does the ping, as you scuttle about, come and go? What is your experience? Open your heart and listen. Does the ping fade while the message that you can take charge and do something that is more distinctively you in the world sounds? Doing who and what is you, I’ve learned, is the only sustainable work. It’s impossible to follow the dreams and trends of others for very long. They are short lived.

The first step toward taking charge of your worklife is to know that the process begins with YOU. Shh. Hear the ping in your heart. You may expect an in-your-face awakening but rarely is there a sledge hammer bang. Usually the messenger is subtler. Ping!

At some point in their transitions, most of my clients ask, “If I follow my heart, how will I make money?” Using myself as an example, I respond, “I override my fear that I won’t make much money writing by stimulating my heart. I ask myself, ‘What do I love, even if I may not be the best at it? What do I most want to do—even if the learning curve is long, steep, and uncertain?’ I sit with these questions and my answer usually emerges. ‘Expressing myself and sharing my wisdom through writing, speaking, and counseling so that others can borrow my example and ideas to express themselves and trust and use their own wisdom is my passion.’” I can’t ignore; I must respect and live my truth. My answer––a purposeful, spirited mantra––propels me forward in my life journey. And yet, as it is so for you, I know there are no guarantees: the writing of this book, a project, is temporary. And, ultimately, you the customer will judge its worth. Is there an answer––some relief from the natural churn of worklife and the common feelings––fear, anxiety, confusion––associated with change and risk? Yes, there is an answer. You can replace fear with the belief that you are the boss.

Who’s the Boss? You Are.

I thought for too long that life should be easy. You may believe that life should be easy. For me, though, digesting this belief eventually led to indigestion. I’d begin a project, become impatient when the going got tough, and quit. Writing this book, for example, would have been impossible guided by my old life should be easy belief. “Life is difficult.” That first sentence in Scott Peck’s bestseller, The Road Less Traveled, was the catalyst that most reoriented my thinking. He continues, “Once we truly know that life is difficult––once we truly understand and accept it––then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.” I first read these words in 1978 and they continue to fortify my thoughts and guide my actions today.

I know in my gut, after much personal and professional growth, a decade of global flux, and developing my practice and nurturing a family, that I am fully responsible for my worklife. Of course, I’m not only independent, attending solely to my heart’s calling and choices. I’m interdependent, too, collaborating with and contributing to others. Combining the two, I am a self-leader––the onus, still, is on me to imagine, plan, explore, and create the worklife that I want. In any economy, I’m the boss of my worklife. You are, too, whether you work inside or outside of an organization. Who’s the boss? You are the boss. You’re in charge of your worklife. This is the message of this book.

You’re the boss of discovering and acting on what’s in your heart. You’re the boss of managing the feelings and tensions that naturally arise when navigating uncharted territory. You’re the boss, knowing that you will sometimes clash with your tired belief that someone else is the boss. You’re the boss, making the choice to struggle and go beyond your struggle to a “self-employed” attitude. And, you’re the boss––the one in charge––of asking for support, or asking to be left alone, when risking change.

If someone pointed the finger at me and said, “You’re the boss of your worklife” I might be skeptical, possibly scared, and a bit excited. Right now, you might be experiencing one, or all three, of these feelings. If you are, bear with me. You need not make your I-am-the-boss decision now. All I ask is for your curiosity, that you question your “employed” attitude and remain open to summoning and shaping your “self-employed” attitude.

Why Read This Book?

To self-lead:
understand and do what is in your heart,
overcome your fear of change,
reawaken and free your spirit,
and become more productive than ever.

Read this book if you are interested in feeling healthier at work and in your life. Without a clear sense of self, working with others lacks health, conviction, and joy.

Read this book if you want to inspire your children. Frequently, Gabriella, my eight-year-old, asks, “Dad, will you tell me about your work? What do you say to your clients? What are you writing now…the same book?” She and her peers discuss what their parents do and Gabriella wants to be ready to share with her friends. She also wants to learn how I handle what may one day be in store for her when she enters the workplace. Gabriella and her friends are learning ways to use their ideas, skills, heart, and energy to become productive, to promote and manage change, and to enjoy their work.

Read this book if you want to live a fuller life and feel good about every stage while continuing to contribute to the lives of others.

What’s New

This revision emanates from my soul. I’ve updated We Are All Self-Employed because I know I’m the boss. I know that you’re the boss, too. The economy, job marketplace, and our zeal for personal growth are constant reminders. What’s new in this edition includes a refined Worklife Creed; many fresh, supportive, and diverse, worklife examples; stimulating and thoughtful quotations; an emphasis on the freedom and vitality of the heart––purpose and passion in worklife; and a Who’s the Boss? Check-In section, consisting of five summary and thought/action questions at the end of the first six chapters. On page 162 you’ll find the Ten Commandments for Winning Interviews. The last chapter shares several meaningful-work steps, plus an inspiring meaningful-work interview.

How This Book is Organized

The first chapter of this book assumes that you have some familiarity with, and in some instances that you have experienced the virtues of, the “self-employed” attitude. To refresh, there’s a comparison between an “employed” and a “self-employed” attitude on page 13. The comparison presents and clarifies the minimum critical requirements for you to develop, deepen, and/or sustain a self-employed attitude. Individually, the subsequent six chapters form the essential dynamic building blocks for assimilating and constructing a “self-employed” attitude. Collectively, they are a powerful transformational system for living this attitude. The checklists and exercises in each chapter will deepen your understanding of a “self-employed” attitude. Starting on page 14 the chapters are united into six beliefs that constitute a worklife creed.

Even though I’ve used the widely accepted term “career” in the subtitle (How to Take Control of Your Career), throughout We Are All Self-Employed I’ll generously use the term “worklife” instead. This is because, in conversations with my clients, they share work and life issues and dreams. In addition, as you mature, healthy work and career decisions can only be made when you consider and integrate other aspects of life: relationship, children, parents, housing, education, recreation, community, world and financial affairs, health and longevity, and your spirit.