Owning our selves

Sparing us a full-blown discussion of the Jungian Self and psychology, I do want to acknowledge that the most powerful thing I’ve ever done has been merging my conscious desires with the professional image I had begun to create for myself in order to engage authentically as my whole self.

When I began to accept and prioritize what was unique and individual to me as a human being, I shifted. I moved from simply rehashing the events of my life to practicing the art of self-definition, which isn’t so much about your life resume as opposed to who you are beneath the surface, as well as how that who informs what you choose to do with your time, and where you show up in the world. Self-definition is, simply, the articulation of how your motivations and values shape the choices and moves you make in life.

Focusing on self-definition, I even started paying closer attention to the ways people would introduce me when I shied away from doing it myself. They would never get it quite right. There was always something a little inaccurate in their telling, often an important detail that never made it into the conversation, or a summary of skills that wasn’t quite inclusive or exhaustive of the work I’d done. Eventually, I vowed to take control of my story. I knew that if I wanted to make deeper connections with the people I was interacting with, I would first have to be able to clearly communicate who I was. This required a system.

First, I spent time thinking about the different conversations I might find myself having—dinner parties with investors and board members, presentations with potential clients, networking events at conferences, and other social gatherings. Then, I put together a series of questions and prompts to help me feel more prepared. Then I created a clear outline for the most critical things I wanted to share about me when describing myself, or making my own introductions. Once I had that down, I constantly practiced, preparing for any number of scenarios. And, I constantly studied, paying attention to some of my favorite communicators and storytellers, taking notes on how they defined and presented themselves. And of course, I iterated, revising my own story, and coaching others so that they could do the same.

It worked.

Today, when people ask me questions like “What do you do?” or unexpectedly invite me to introduce myself to a group of strangers, I’m no longer reluctant to say:

I’m an entrepreneur and strategist working at the intersections of communication, education, and culture. I’m motivated by and dedicated to service. I divide my time between collaborating with colleges and high schools to help them more intentionally connect students to learning pathways aligned with their passions, and developing learning experiences, special events, and coaching programs to help artists, creatives, and entrepreneurs better communicate their visions for shifting and impacting culture.

—or—

I believe in the power of marginalized voices to change the world, and believe a large part of that change lies in improving the way we learn. I’m also driven by the possibility of how much brighter our world can become if we ignite students, artists, creatives, and entrepreneurs to continue uncovering and pursuing work they love, with love. So, as an entrepreneur and communication strategist, I’m excited about finding new ways to blend my passions for education reform, culture, and the arts into projects that instigate change.

—and—

In my day-to-day work, I’m the CEO of a storytelling agency and speaker collective where I lead the development of learning experiences and curriculum and communication strategy for a number of clients. And you?

If you don’t have an answer for that yet, don’t worry. You will by the time you finish this book. Not only have I transcribed my proven six-step process for accurate and artful self-definition, but I’ve compiled profiles and case studies of some of my favorite communicators and most successful clients. As you progress through the TMAY process, remain encouraged by their examples. They all started from exactly where you are now: with themselves.