第61章

"You would have been glad for them to know the truth, but you didn't choose to tell them?""Yes; I have gone through such an experience.""So that their sympathy was in effect ridiculous?""That is true also."

"If you have been through all this," said John conclusively, "then without knowing anything more, you can understand why I am not like myself, as you say, and haven't been lately."The parson moved his chair over beside the school-master's and took one of his hands in both of his own, drawing it into his lap.

"John," he said with affection, "I've been wrong: forgive me! And I can respect your silence.But don't let anything come between us and keep it from me.One question now on this our last Sunday night together: Have you anything against me in this world?""Not one thing! Have you anything against me?""Not one thing!"

Neither spoke for a while.Then the parson resumed:

"I not only have nothing against you, but I've something to say; we might never meet hereafter.You remember the woman who broke the alabaster box for the feet of the Saviour while he was living--that most beautiful of all the appreciations? And you know what we do? Let our fellow-beings carry their crosses to their Calvarys, and after each has suffered his agony and entered into his peace, we go out to him and break our alabaster boxes above his stiff cold feet.I have always hoped that my religion might enable me to break my alabaster box for the living who alone can need it--and who always do need it.Here is mine for your feet, John: Of all the men I have ever known, you are the most sincere; of them all I would soonest pick upon you to do what is right; of them all you have the cleanest face, because you have the most innocent heart; of them all you have the highest notions of what a man may do and be in this life.I have drawn upon your strength ever since I knew you.You have a great deal.It is fortunate; you will need a great deal; for the world will always be a battle-field to you, but the victory will be worth the fighting.And my last words to you are: fight it out to the end; don't compromise with evil; don't lower your ideals or your aims.If it can be any help to you to know it, I shall always be near you in spirit when you are in trouble; if you ever need me, I will come; and if my poor prayers can ever bring you a blessing, you shall have that."The parson turned his calm face up toward the firmament and tears glistened in his eyes.Then perhaps from the old habit and need of following a sermon with a hymn, he said quite simply:

"Would you like a little music? It is the Good-bye of the Flute to you and a pleasant journey."The school-master's head had dropped quickly upon his arms, which were crossed over the back of his chair.While the parson was praising him, he had put out his hand two or three times with wretched, imploring gestures.

Keeping his face still hidden, he moved his head now in token of assent; and out upon the stillness of the night floated the Farewell of the Flute.

But no sermon, nor friendship, nor music, nor voice of conscience, nor voice of praise, nor ideals, nor any other earthly thing could stand this day against the evil that was in him.The parson had scarce gone away through the misty beams before he sprang up and seized his hat.

There was no fog out on the clearing.He could not have said why he had come.He only knew that he was there in the garden where he had parted from her the day before.He sat on the bench where they had talked so often, he strolled among her plants.How clear in the moonlight every leaf of the dark green little things was, many of them holding white drops of dew on their tips and edges! How plain the last shoe-prints where she had worked! How peaceful the whole scene in every direction, how sacredly at rest! And the cabin up there at the end of the garden where they were sleeping side by side--how the moon poured its strongest light upon that: his eye could never get away from it.So closely a man might live with a woman in this seclusion! So entirely she must be his!

His passions leaped like dogs against their chains when brought too near.

They began to draw him toward the cabin until at last he had come opposite to it, his figure remaining hidden behind the fence and under the heavy shadow of a group of the wilderness trees.Then it was that taking one step further, he drew back.

The low window of the cabin was open and she was sitting there near the foot of her bed, perfectly still and looking out into the night.Her face rested in one palm, her elbow on the window sill.Her nightgown had slipped down from her arm.The only sleepless thing in all the peace of that summer night: the yearning image of mated loneliness.

He was so close that he could hear the loud regular breathing of a sleeper on the bed just inside the shadow.Once the breathing stopped abruptly; and a moment later, as though in reply to a command, he heard her say without turning her head:

"I am coming!"

The voice was sweet and dutiful; but to an ear that could have divined everything, so dead worn away with weariness.

Then he saw an arm put forth.Then he heard the shutter being fastened on the inside.