第19章
- The Choir Invisible
- James Lane Allen
- 3365字
- 2016-03-09 14:13:44
The prospect of having what to him was wealth had instantly bestowed upon John Gray the liberation of his strength.It had untied the hands of his idle powers; and the first thing he had reached fiercely out to grasp was Amy--his share in the possession of women; the second thing was land--his share in the possession of the earth.With these at the start, the one unshakable under his foot, the other inseparable from his side, he had no doubt that he should rise in the world and lay hold by steady degrees upon all that he should care to have.Naturally now these two blent far on and inseparably in the thoughts of one whose temperament doomed him always to be planning and striving for the future.
The last rays of the sun touched the summit of the knoll where he was lying.
Its setting was with great majesty and repose, depth after depth of cloud opening inward as toward the presence of the infinite peace.The boughs of the trees overhead were in blossom; there were blue and white wild-flowers at his feet.As he looked about him, he said to himself in his solemn way that the long hard winter of his youth had ended; the springtime of his manhood was turning green like the woods.
With this night came his betrothal.For years he had looked forward to that as the highest white mountain peak of his life.As he drew near it now, his thoughts made a pathway for his feet, covering it as with a fresh fall of snow.Complete tenderness overcame him as he beheld Amy in this new sacred relation; a look of religious reverence for her filled his eyes.He asked himself what he had ever done to deserve all this.Perhaps it is the instinctive trait of most of us to seek an explanation for any great happiness as we are always prone to discuss the causes of our adversity.
Accordingly, and in accord with our differing points of view of the universe, we declare of our joy that it is the gift of God to us despite our shortcomings and our transgressions; or that it is our blind share of things tossed out impersonally to us by the blind operation of the chances of life;or that it is the clearest strictest logic of our own being and doing--the natural vintage of our own grapes.
Of all these, the one that most deeply touches the heart is the faith, that a God above who alone knows and judges aright, still loves and has sent a blessing.To such a believer the heavens seem to have opened above his head, the Divine to have descended and returned; and left alone in the possession of his joy, he lifts his softened eyes to the Light, the Life, the Love, that has always guided him, always filled him, never forgotten him.
This stark audacity of faith was the schoolmaster's.It belonged to him through the Covenanter blood of his English forefathers and through his Scotch mother; but it had surrounded him also in the burning spiritual heroism of the time, when men wandered through the Western wilderness, girt as with camel's hair and fed as on locusts, but carrying from cabin to cabin, from post to post, through darkness and snow and storm the lonely banner of the Christ and preaching the gospel of everlasting peace to those who had never known any peace on earth.So that all his thoughts were linked with the eternal; he had threaded the labyrinth of life, evermore awestruck with its immensities and its mysteries; in his ear, he could plainly hear immortality sounding like a muffled bell across a sea, now near, now farther away, according as he was in danger or in safety.Therefore, his sudden prosperity--Amy--marriage--happiness--all these meant to him that Providence was blessing him.
In the depth of the wood it had grown dark.With all his thoughts of her sounding like the low notes of a cathedral organ, he rose and walked slowly back to town.He did not care for his supper; he did not wish to speak with any other person; the rude, coarse banter of the taverns and the streets would in some way throw a stain on her.Luckily he reached his room unaccosted; and then with care but without vanity having dressed himself in his best, he took his way to the house of Father Poythress.