第159章 From Deep Experience.(1)

With the night dreams began to vanish and the prose of reality gradually to take form and outline in Van Berg's mind.He was compelled to admit that the plausible theories by which he had hitherto satisfied himself scarcely accounted for his moods and sensations the past few days,and memory quietly informed him that it had never had any consciousness of such a friendship as he now was forming.But like many another man in the process of conviction against his will,he became irritable and angrily blind to a truth that would place him in an intolerable dilemma.He went to his studio,and worded with dogged obstinacy on the picture designed for Ida,giving his time to those details which required only artistic skill,for his perturbed mind was in no mood for any nice creative work.

He had agreed to meet Ida and her father on the afternoon boat;and his impatience,and the early hour he started to keep the appointment,was another straw which he was compelled to see in spite of himself;nor could he fail to note which way the current was bearing him.

"Well,"he muttered,with the fatuity common in all strong temptations,"I'll spend a few more hours with this rare Undine,this genuine woman,who--infinitely more beautiful than Venus--is rising out of the dark waters of sorrow,shame,and despair,and then if I find that it will be wiser and safer to be only a somewhat unobtrusive and distant friend,showing my good-will more by deeds than by seeking her society,I can gradually take this course without wounding her feelings or exciting suspicion of the cause.She was right,although she little imagines the reason;we could never have those readings together,and I fear I must manage with far fewer visits to my studio than I had hoped for.What an accursed chaotic old world it is anyway!How grateful she is because I merely treat her father politely!It would be impossible to do anything else,now that he is himself again,and yet,by this simple,easy method,I have won a friendlier regard than I could by any other means.

Like an idiot,I once thought she would have to withdraw from her father to develop her new and beautiful life.If even in faintest suggestion I had revealed that thought to her,I don't believe she would have spoken to me again;and I foresee that I shall have to be exceedingly polite to Mrs.Mayhew also,for my Undine is developing a conscience that might become a man's implacable enemy.

But what am I thinking about!If I do not intend to see much of the daughter,I shall not waste any time on the mother.I wonder if Miss Mayhew meant anything by that odd little ballad last evening.

Could she have intended to remind me of blue-eyed Jennie Burton?

No,for she was singing it by herself,when she did not know I was listening.The idiotic brook!If I had given my whole heart to the effort I might have won Jennie Burton by this time.Ida Mayhew was right;no woman that I wish to win will show a lover any favor till he cannot help stopping and staying,too."A moment later he stopped short in the street."Great God!"muttered he,"do I wish to win Jennie Burton?Whither am I drifting?Would to heaven I had not made this appointment this afternoon.Well,I'm in for it now,"and he strode along as if he were going to battle,resolving to be guarded to the last degree,lest Ida should suspect his weakness.

He saw her come on the boat with her father at the last moment,her cheeks flushed with the heat and her eyes aglow with the hurry and excitement of the occasion.He saw one and another of her young gentlemen acquaintances step eagerly forward to speak to her and admiring eyes turning towards her on every side."She won't lack for friends and companions now,and I soon will be little missed,"he thought bitterly.One gentleman,in his impatience for her society,sought to obtain her small travelling-bag,ad was assuring her that he could obtain seats for herself and father on the crowded boat,when,by her timid glance around,she showed that she was expecting some one,and Van Berg hastened forward and said quietly,"I have seats reserved in the pilot-house."She gave him a glad smile of welcome;but almost instantly her face became grave and questioning in its expression;and she looked at him keenly as he cordially shook hands with her father.As they went away with him,as if by a prearrangement several guests of the Lake House looked at each other and nodded their heads significantly.

While on the way to the pilot-house,and during their conversation after arriving there,Ida often turned a quick,questioning glance towards Van Berg,and her expression reminded him of some children's faces he had seen as they tried to read the thoughts or intentions of those who had their interests in keeping.He tried his best to be cordial and natural in manner--to be,in brief,the sincere friend that he had professed himself--and Mr.Mayhew did not notice anything amiss;but even at some inflection of his voice,or at a pause in the conversation,Ida would turn towards him this sudden,questioning,child-like look,which touched him deeply while it puzzled him.But she gradually began to grow "distrait"and quiet,and to look less and less often.Van Berg had a deep affection for the noble river on which they were sailing,and had familiarized himself with its history and legends.By means of these he sought to entertain Ida and her father,and with the latter he succeeded abundantly;but he often doubted whether Ida heard him,for her eyes and thoughts seemed to be wandering beyond the blue Highlands which they now were entering.At last Mr.Mayhew left them for a while,and Van Berg turned and said gently:

"Miss Ida,you are not in good spirits this afternoon."She did not answer for a moment,but averted her face still further from him.At last she said,in a low tone:"Mr.Van Berg,did you ever have a presentiment of evil?""I don't believe in such things,"he replied promptly.