第128章 "The Garden of Eden."(4)

She looked at him wonderingly,and then murmured:"Oh,thank God it has all turned out as it has."After a moment she added:"I've misjudged you also,Mr.Van Berg.""How?Please tell me,for I feel I have more cause to be disgusted with myself than you ever had.""Well--how shall I say what I mean?I thought you had more mind than heart.""It appears to me I've displayed a lamentable lack of both.I must have seemed to you like an animated interrogation point.""I soon learned you were very greatly my superior,"she said simply.

"Miss Mayhew,spare me,"he replied quickly,with a deprecatory gesture."The story you were telling interests me more deeply than you will believe,and I think we shall be better acquainted before the day is over.""Well,the rest of my story is more easily told than understood,and perhaps your man's reason may not find it very satisfactory.

You know the old superstition that the sing of the cross puts to flight the Evil One.I don't believe that,but I believe that the One who suffered on the cross puts him to flight.Mr.Eltinge's simple,downright assertion that Jesus could remedy every earthly trouble--that he would be a patient,helpful Friend--broke the evil spell by which despair had blinded me,and I resolved to try and live if I could.After the old gentleman came out of the church Iasked him to let me visit him,and he has been very,very kind.Itold him everything.The first day he saw I was greatly discouraged,and told me the history of a young pear-tree against which he was leaning,and which was full of beautiful fruit.He said that on a stormy night it was broken by the wind,and trampled upon by some stray cattle,and he scarcely thought it could live,for it was prostrate on the ground,but he lifted it,and took care of it,and gave nature a chance to restore it.You would think nature was like a kind of mother,to hear him talk.Then he reasoned that Jesus,the Author of nature,would do for me what nature had done for the wounded tree,but that I must not expect too much at first--that I must be receptive and willing to grow patiently as the tree had done,in a new and better life.Thus the tree has become to me an emblem of hope,and I trust a prophecy of my future,although I do not expect ever to reach anything like the perfection suggested by the pear-tree and its delicious fruit.The facts that have impressed me most are that it was bruised,prostrate,and ready to die,and now it is alive and useful.Old Mr.Eltinge loves it,and likes to lean against it,as you will see.""The fact that has impressed me most in this allegory,"groaned Van Berg,"is that I was the brute that trampled on you.""You are too severe on yourself,"she said earnestly."I shall have to take your part.""Please do.I throw myself wholly on your mercy.""I believe Shakespeare was right,"she said,with a shy laugh and averted face."Mercy is always twice bless'd.But I have not told you all,Mr.Van Berg.Yesterday was the most memorable day of my life.On Thursday Mr.Eltinge saw I needed encouragement;yesterday he saw that I had not realized the crime I had almost committed,and that I was stopping short of him who alone could change my whole nature.Indeed,I think he saw that I was even inclined to become well pleased with myself,and content with my prospects of winning back the esteem of others.He was faithful with me as well as kind.By an illustration,which you will pardon me for not repeating,he made it clear to me as the light that in the intent of my heart I had been guilty of murder.Mr.Van Berg,may you never know the agony and remorse that I suffered for the few moments I saw my sin somewhat as it must appear to God,and to good men like Mr.Eltinge.I was overwhelmed.It seemed as if my crime would crush me.I don't think I could have lived if the sense of terror and despair had lasted.But dear old Mr.Eltinge stood by me in that terrible moment.He put his hand on my head as a father might have done,and in tones that seemed like a voice from heaven,said:'Behold the Lamb of God,that taketh away the sin of the world.'I felt that I could not bear my sin an instant longer;it was like a mountain of lead,and with a desperate impulse to escape,I looked to Christ--I just fled to him,as it were,and it was the same as if he had opened his arms and received me.From that moment I have felt safe,and almost happy.I can't explain all this to you,I only tell you what happened.It doesn't seem like superstition or excited imagination,as I've heard some characterize these things.It was all too real:Mr.Van Berg,the simple truth is--I've found a Friend,who is pledged to take care of me.I KNOW IT.I am reading the story of his life,under Mr.

Eltinge's guidance,and that is why I come here.Now you know all the mystery there is about the faulty girl in whom circumstances have given you a passing interest.Since you knew so much that was against me,perhaps you will not think it strange that I was willing you should learn what is now in my favor.It is simply this--I've found a Divine Friend who will help me live a better life."They had now reached Mr.Eltinge's gate,and Van Berg stepped out to open it.But before doing so,he turned to his companion,and with eyes moist with feeling,said earnestly:

"Miss Mayhew,circumstances might have given me but a passing interest in you,but YOU have won an abiding interest.You have been generous enough to forgive me,and now you will have to repel me resolutely,to prevent my being your friend.Indeed I shall be one in heart hereafter,even though you may not permit me to enjoy your society,for you may very naturally wish to shun one who cannot fail to remind you of so much that is painful.As for your story,it is a revelation to me.I may never possess your happy faith,but I will respect it;"and although he turned hastily away she could not fail to see that he was deeply moved.