第16章

"Julia--Miss Warren--you tear my secret from me before its time--I love you, Julia, and would wish to make you my wife."This was certainly very plain English, nor did Julia misunderstand a syllable of what he said--but it was entirely new and unexpected to her; she had lived with Charles Weston with the confidence of a kinswoman, but had never dreamt of him as a lover.Indeed, she saw nothing in him that looked like a being to excite or to entertain such a passion; and although from the moment of his declaration she began insensibly to think differently of him, nothing was farther from her mind than to return his offered affection.But then the opportunity of making a sacrifice to hersecret love was glorious, and her frankness forbade her to conceal the truth.Indeed, what better way was there to destroy the unhappy passion of Charles, than to convince him of its hopelessness? These thoughts flashed through her mind with the rapidity of lightning--and trembling with the agitation and novelty of her situation, she answered in a low voice--"That, Charles, can never be."

"Why never, Julia?" cried the youth, giving way at once to his long- suppressed feelings--"why never? Try me, prove me! there is nothing I will not do to gain your love."Oh! how seductive to a female ear is the first declaration of an attachment, especially when urged by youth and merit!--it assails her heart in the most vulnerable part, and if it be not fortified unusually well, seldom fails of success.Happily for Julia, the image of Antonio presented itself to save her from infidelity to her old attachment, and she replied--"You are kind and good, Charles, and I esteem you highly--but ask no more, I beg of you.""Why, if you grant me this, why forbid me to hope for more?" said the youth eagerly, and looking really handsome.

Julia hesitated a moment, and let her dark eyes fall before his ardent gaze, at a loss what to say--but the face of Apollo in the imperial uniform interposed to save her.

"I owe it to your candour, Mr.Weston, to own my weakness--" she said, and hesitated.

"Go on, Julia--my Julia," said Charles, in an unusually soft voice; "kill me at once, or bid me live!"Again Julia paused, and again she looked on her companion with kinder eyes than usual--when she felt the picture which lay next her heart, and proceeded--"Yes, Mr.Weston, this heart, this foolish, weak heart is no longer my own.""How!" exclaimed Charles, in astonishment, "and have I then a rival, and a successful one too?""You have," said Julia, burying her face in her hands to conceal her blushes.--"But, Mr.Weston, on your generosity I depend for secrecy--be asgenerous as myself."

"Yes--yes--I will conceal my misery from others," cried Charles, springing on his feet and rushing from the room; "would to God I could conceal it from myself!"Julia was sensibly touched with his distress, and for an instant there was some regret mingled with self- satisfaction at her own candour--but then the delightful reflection soon presented itself of the gratitude of Antonio when he learnt her generous conduct, and her self-denial in favour of a man whom she had as yet never seen.--At the same time she was resolutely determined never to mention the occurrence herself--not even to her Anna.

Miss Emmerson was enabled to discover some secret uneasiness between Charles and Julia, although she was by no means able to penetrate the secret.The good aunt had long anxiously wished for just such a declaration as had been made to her niece, and it was one of the last of her apprehensions that it would not have been favourably received.Of simple and plain habits herself, Miss Emmerson was but little versed in the human heart; she thought that Julia was evidently happy and pleased with her young kinsman, and she considered him in every respect a most eligible connexion for her charge: their joint fortunes would make an ample estate, and they were alike affectionate and good-tempered--what more could be wanting? Nothing however passed in the future intercourse of the young couple to betray their secrets, and Miss Emmerson soon forgot her surmises.Charles was much hurt at Julia's avowal, and had in vain puzzled his brains to discover who his rival could be.No young man that was in the least (so he thought) suitable to his mistress, visited her, and he gave up his conjectures in despair of discovering this unknown lover, until accident or design should draw him into notice.Little did he suspect the truth.On the other hand, Julia spent her secret hours in the delightful consciousness of having now done something that rendered her worthy of Antonio, with occasional regret that she was compelled by delicacy and love to refuse Charles so hastily as she had done.